Just a little!! It is a personal issue for my partner more then my own frustration. However, we are partners and we are in it together. Most of what has to be done, she has to do…that really frustrates me. Because I want to help her and do it for her, but I can’t. So I have to push and nag her gently hoping that she sees clearly what must be done.
Frustration is the feeling of being annoyed or upset because of the inability to change or achieve something. And my prayer is that I not let the frustration take hold, that I face or accept what it is and not try to change it to what I want it to be. In comes the Serenity Prayer….”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
“Frustration is the first step toward improvement…It’s only when I face frustration and use it to fuel my dedication that I feel myself moving forward. ”
Why do I think everyone should live up to my expectations? Why do I feel that just because I treat someone one way , they have to or will treat me the same way?
“You can’t expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid
My expectations have often led me to resentments. “Resentment is the Number One offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have also been spiritually ill. When our spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 64)
I was taught resentments will kill me. Most of my resentments stem from Anger. I was also told that Fear is Anger turned inside out. I am usually expecting something to turn out a certain way and if it doesn’t live up to my expectations I get angry. This means I am afraid or angry because I didn’t get something or it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it too.
I have been trying very hard due to unforeseen circumstances in my life to try to not have any expectations of others and myself. This is very hard for me. I am not a doormat any more but it seems that people tend to “walk all over me.” I try not to let this happen, but some how it does. Then I have the expectation that because I was nice or did something for them – shouldn’t they be nice or do something for me? And, when they don’t I get a resentment going and then I get angry and then and then and then…..here come lots of my defects. So I stop, reflect, and try to sort them out….Why am I feeling like I am? Usually I can figure it out and move on, but sometimes it takes a few days and that is when I really hate who I am becoming. Once I feel that way, I know what is happening and try to remedy the ‘problem’, which is usually ME. Not the others. I take an inventory (my own inventory) and make amends if needed. I typically say the 11th Step prayer followed by the Serenity Prayer
Then I’d like to say POOF all better, but we all know that isn’t the way it works. Its’ all about PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!!!!
God bless you all and have a wonderful weekend!!
This quote is a variation of the Serenity Prayer. I love it because it focuses on me. Reminds me I can not and should not be taking anyone’s inventory except my own. I cannot change anyone but me and most the time that change comes in the form of how I react to a person or a situation.
Had a wonderful day today. I am so much better when I get out of my own way and my own head. I had things to do and I did them. Now my head its clear and I can lay my head on my pillow tonight after my prayers and sleep without thinking about everything…I used too keep a pen and paper next to my bed but haven’t had to lately. Writing this blog has also helped me tremendously. I see me in writing and it keeps me where I need to be. Remember PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!
Catch up with you tomorrow. Sleep well…