Recognizing Personal Growth

I know I am growing. How do I know this? Well first I am not the same selfish self-centered person I was. Far FromI have learned to Let Go. Letting Go has helped me to grow by not living in the past (especially dwelling in the past).  I have learned to put my faith and trust in a Higher Power and step into the UNKNOWN and the next Unknown, and the next and the next… It doesn’t mean I am not afraid it means I believe I will be all right no matter what comes into my life at any given moment. That is how I recognize that I am growing.Growth

I take risks that I never, ever would before. I feel OK when I hear something that is disturbing to me. An example of this is that I had a medical test done recently. A procedure that I do every year. Well, for the first time ever, it came back with some abnormalities. I know I am not who I used to be by the way I reacted. I was angry at first, then ok, then not ok, then, well you get it.  So I knew what I had to do – PRAY. I did and I felt better.  Set up the next test and I will see where I am after that. This is the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN to me.

It is ok, I know it is because I am not alone and I have faith that it will be the way God intends it to be, good, bad or indifferent. It is in His hands and I will accept whatever is in the future for me.  It is all about Growth!! We go through these things…they are not tests that are imposed on us, it is just Life.  And, besides what makes me any better than anyone else that I may not have to go through some of Life’s curves.

Risking the known is to actually LET GO. I have to LET GO of what previous version of me, the one that has become too comfortable, allow myself to feel the fears and anxiety (lack of trust) that come up in letting go while moving into the unknown  leading me to grow.

Circumsatnces

I hope that this makes sense I am a little off tonight. But feeling much better as I share my day and thoughts, fears, anxieties and how I get through these feelings/emotions without drinking – One Day At A Time. I can not and will not make that an escape route for me ever again. Not an option any more. Thank you AA and God.
NIGHT PRAYER
God forgive me where I have been resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid today. Help me to not keep anything to myself but to discuss it all openly with another person – show me where I owe an apology and help me make it. Help me to be kind and loving to all people. Use me in the mainstream of life God. Remove worry, remorse or morbid (sick) reflections that I may be of usefulness to others. AMEN
(p. 86 BB)

THE GIFT OF BONDING

AUGUST 25

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.                         ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 63

Many times in my alcoholic state, I drank to establish a bond between myself and others, but I succeeded only in establishing the bondage of alcoholic loneliness. Through the A.A. way of life, I have received the gift of bonding—with those who were there before me, with those who are there now, and with those yet to come. For this gracious gift from God, I am forever grateful.

Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Inc.. Daily Reflections: A Book of Reflections by A.A. Members for A.A. Members (Kindle Locations 1734-1738). A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I was given the gift of bonding. Relationships are what is between me and others. I learned how to bond with other human beings in AA. I was told to use this third step prayer…”God, I offer myself to Thee – To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!” Copyright © Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

I use this prayer often. I don’t say it every day but there are times when I may be having difficulties with other people I turn to the Big Book and for some reason I will wind up reading exactly what I need to read/ hear. I am able to establish relationships based on  shared feelings, interest or experiences  today because I am free of being in my own prison.

24 Hours A Day

A.A. Thought for the Day

“If we are still clinging to something that we will not let go, we must sincerely ask God to help us to be willing to let even that go too. We cannot divide our lives into compartments and keep some for ourselves. We must give all the compartments to God. We must say: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.” Am I still clinging to something that I will not let go?

Meditation for the Day

The laws of nature cannot be changed and must be obeyed if you are to stay healthy. No exceptions will be made in your case. Submit to the laws of nature or they will finally break you. And in the realm of the spirit, in all human relationships, submit to the moral laws and to the will of God. If you continue to break the laws of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love, you will be broken to some extent yourself. The moral and spiritual laws of God, like the laws of nature, are unbreakable without some disaster. If you are dishonest, impure, selfish and unloving, you will not be living according to the laws of the spirit and you will suffer the consequences.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may submit to the laws of nature and to the laws of God. I pray that I may live in harmony with all the laws of life.

Anonymous. Twenty-Four Hours A Day (p. 98). Martino Fine Books. Kindle Edition.

My Thought… I “Let Go and Let God.” I pray to let go of my own will. I try not to have my ego run my life. All of the apartments in my head belong to God now. God already knew the good, bad and ugly of me. Now I know too and I know he knows…so I ask to all my defects of character removed so that I can remain useful to all others. However, every once in a while I hang onto something I just don’t want to let go of.  When it gets bad enough, I pray and ask to have whatever it is removed…and for some reason the burden lessens and more times than not, the burden is removed.

My Meditation… I must remain teachable and honest, pure and loving. If I decide not to abide and live in a way that is appropriate to  particular circumstances I will suffer the consequences…

I try to keep my meditations simple…in fact I did quite a bit of meditating today. Went for a hike and shared my intimate thoughts and feelings  on a spiritual level with God. Felt really good. Very freeing and made me feel healthier and happier.

My Prayer…This particular prayer above confuses me. So I just say my third step prayer for this day of prayer. Which once again reads, “God, I offer myself to Thee – To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!”