Recognizing Personal Growth

I know I am growing. How do I know this? Well first I am not the same selfish self-centered person I was. Far FromI have learned to Let Go. Letting Go has helped me to grow by not living in the past (especially dwelling in the past).  I have learned to put my faith and trust in a Higher Power and step into the UNKNOWN and the next Unknown, and the next and the next… It doesn’t mean I am not afraid it means I believe I will be all right no matter what comes into my life at any given moment. That is how I recognize that I am growing.Growth

I take risks that I never, ever would before. I feel OK when I hear something that is disturbing to me. An example of this is that I had a medical test done recently. A procedure that I do every year. Well, for the first time ever, it came back with some abnormalities. I know I am not who I used to be by the way I reacted. I was angry at first, then ok, then not ok, then, well you get it.  So I knew what I had to do – PRAY. I did and I felt better.  Set up the next test and I will see where I am after that. This is the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN to me.

It is ok, I know it is because I am not alone and I have faith that it will be the way God intends it to be, good, bad or indifferent. It is in His hands and I will accept whatever is in the future for me.  It is all about Growth!! We go through these things…they are not tests that are imposed on us, it is just Life.  And, besides what makes me any better than anyone else that I may not have to go through some of Life’s curves.

Risking the known is to actually LET GO. I have to LET GO of what previous version of me, the one that has become too comfortable, allow myself to feel the fears and anxiety (lack of trust) that come up in letting go while moving into the unknown  leading me to grow.

Circumsatnces

I hope that this makes sense I am a little off tonight. But feeling much better as I share my day and thoughts, fears, anxieties and how I get through these feelings/emotions without drinking – One Day At A Time. I can not and will not make that an escape route for me ever again. Not an option any more. Thank you AA and God.
NIGHT PRAYER
God forgive me where I have been resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid today. Help me to not keep anything to myself but to discuss it all openly with another person – show me where I owe an apology and help me make it. Help me to be kind and loving to all people. Use me in the mainstream of life God. Remove worry, remorse or morbid (sick) reflections that I may be of usefulness to others. AMEN
(p. 86 BB)

Quote of the Day

I have no “Pearls of Wisdom” other than what is written above.

Says pretty much what I am about today. Had a good day, not much to share about the day tonight. 

None of what I say or write jus totally mine. I have gained and learned so much from so many people that I have actually become a culmination of everyone I have met. God has put everybody that I needed in my life whenever and wherever He has seen fit. That is how I became who I am today. A little bit of everybody, every place and everything I have run into up to this point in my life.

Quote of the Day – Memories

Memories2

Had a fantastic night.  Went to Disney Springs to a new restaurant called Terralina Italian.  Was delicious. But aside from the food the company was awesome.  Met up with my brother-in-law, his wife and their daughters. We ate, we laughed and oh my goodness the reminiscing. I have known his family for over 40 some years. We had lots to share.  Some of the memories we have heard over and over, but the fun part now is that his daughters are old enough to add to the memories.

Like the quote says,”…memories are the only things that don’t change…”  Everything else, people, places, things they ALL change.  I think that is why for me memories are so important. They also help build character and mold who we were, who we are and who we will become.  Everything that happened in my life had to happen  in order for me to get to where I am today. I have to remind myself though that I MUST CONTINUE TO GROW, which means I have to CHANGE with respect to the way I react to people, places and things.

My memories are usually sparked by people, and more times than not music.  A certain song comes on and I can remember where I was, who I was with and where I was. Funny though because I usually can’t remember what I went in a room to get…LOL

One of my favorite Memory songs is by Paul Anka “Times of Your Life” Paul Anka Times of YOur Life

Another one is “Now and Forever” by Carole King   Carole King Now and Forever

There are soooooo many of these songs that help me when the world around me is driving me crazy or things become so overwhelming. I put on my headphones and escape to my Memories.

Some of my memories haven’t always been great, no matter they are all a part of who I am. My childhood has shaped me to what I am today. I recall my childhood memories, there are many stories. Childhood is special for everyone.  There are so many childhood memories I can remember that effected my personality. Some of memories make me happy, but others make and made me grow up.  As time evolved my teen years, my young adults years and on and on all had some impact of my growth. Until I started drinking. Then I stopped growing. I was stuck in the time period. Once I stopped drinking and started to get well I was able to begin growing again. As more time went on and I continued to get well, I started to remember all the memories, the good, bad and even ugly memories.  God was and still is the one that  helps me to remember the things I need for whatever reason (usually growth). And, it is all in his time not mine. I am sure there are reasons that He sees fit that I do not remember. Like in the beginning of my sobriety, I recalled very little, probably a good thing. As I have gotten “weller”  He ‘lets’ me remember more and more.

Now, I am able to share with family and friends many memories…although sometimes they will share a memory and I have no idea what they are talking about. It is ok, I am happy to be able to remember what I can today.

It was a wonderful night, seems like mu=my funk is lifting…YEAH!!

Have a great night, sleep well and until tomorrow….goodnightsweetdreams Continue reading “Quote of the Day – Memories”

REDOUBLING OUR EFFORTS

AUGUST 10

To a degree, he has already done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what ways.                                          TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 77

As I continue to grow in sobriety, I become more aware of myself as a person of worth. In the process, I am better able to see others as persons, and with this comes the realization that these were people whom I had hurt in my drinking days. I didn’t just lie, I lied about Tom. I didn’t just cheat, I cheated Joe. What were seemingly impersonal acts, were really personal affronts, because it was people—people of worth—whom I had harmed. I need to do something about the people I have hurt so that I may enjoy a peaceful sobriety.

Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Inc.. Daily Reflections: A Book of Reflections by A.A. Members for A.A. Members (Kindle Locations 1627-1628). A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

It became time now to redouble my efforts…it was time to take action for the things I did or didn’t do to specific people by recognizing exactly what those wrongs or acts of omissions were. This was now going to require time and effort. I had to strengthen my consciousness, by becoming aware of the exact nature of my past what had occurred and to whom and then I had  exert the power by remaining willing to make these amends when the time came and actually make them. Of course that was the hardest part. I knew what I had done to harm all the people on my list…it was the face to face amends that was scaring me….I wasn’t quite there yet, so as long as I continued to pray and remain willing, I figured by the time that time came, I’d be ready to accomplish this dreadful, frightful act. I also knew that I had to do it otherwise I would not get sober and not be able to enjoy that peaceful sobriety that I been hearing about.

 

24 Hours a Day

A.A. Thought for the Day

“The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We who have found this solution to our alcoholic problem, who are properly armed with the facts about ourselves, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic. We who are making the approach to a new prospect have had the same difficulty as he has had, we obviously know what we are talking about, our whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that we are men with a real answer.” Am I a person with the real answer to the alcoholic problems of others?

Meditation for the Day

For straying from the right way there is no cure except to keep so close to the thought of God that nothing, no other interest, can seriously come between you and God. Sure of that, you can stay on God’s side. Knowing the way, nothing can prevent your staying in the way and nothing can cause you to seriously stray from it. God has promised peace if you stay close to Him, but not leisure. You still have to carry on in the world. He has promised heart-rest and comfort, but not pleasure in the ordinary sense. Peace and comfort bring real inward happiness.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may keep my feet on the way. I pray that I may stay on God’s side.

Anonymous. Twenty-Four Hours A Day (p. 91). Martino Fine Books. Kindle Edition.

My thought…FINALLY, I am not the ONLY one that feels this way. There is a Solution! In Chapter 2 of the Big Book. I found that solution and became willing to give what I found back to others. This in turn kept and still keeps be from drinking and more importantly sober. I was taught from day one that I needed to approach new comers and share my experience, strength and hope. If they want what I had, whether it was one day of not drinking or ten years of sobriety they would have to do what I did. I knew how they felt but they had no idea how I felt. We have the answer for the new comer to not only Stop drinking, but stay Stopped. I am the person with the real answer to the alcoholic problems of others. I am uniquely qualified to help them. With the knowledge too, that I am not able to help them in any other way…with their marriage, money problems, relationships, etc…I will listen, but only help them to not to drink One Day At A Time!
Continue reading “REDOUBLING OUR EFFORTS”