Recognizing Personal Growth

I know I am growing. How do I know this? Well first I am not the same selfish self-centered person I was. Far FromI have learned to Let Go. Letting Go has helped me to grow by not living in the past (especially dwelling in the past).  I have learned to put my faith and trust in a Higher Power and step into the UNKNOWN and the next Unknown, and the next and the next… It doesn’t mean I am not afraid it means I believe I will be all right no matter what comes into my life at any given moment. That is how I recognize that I am growing.Growth

I take risks that I never, ever would before. I feel OK when I hear something that is disturbing to me. An example of this is that I had a medical test done recently. A procedure that I do every year. Well, for the first time ever, it came back with some abnormalities. I know I am not who I used to be by the way I reacted. I was angry at first, then ok, then not ok, then, well you get it.  So I knew what I had to do – PRAY. I did and I felt better.  Set up the next test and I will see where I am after that. This is the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN to me.

It is ok, I know it is because I am not alone and I have faith that it will be the way God intends it to be, good, bad or indifferent. It is in His hands and I will accept whatever is in the future for me.  It is all about Growth!! We go through these things…they are not tests that are imposed on us, it is just Life.  And, besides what makes me any better than anyone else that I may not have to go through some of Life’s curves.

Risking the known is to actually LET GO. I have to LET GO of what previous version of me, the one that has become too comfortable, allow myself to feel the fears and anxiety (lack of trust) that come up in letting go while moving into the unknown  leading me to grow.

Circumsatnces

I hope that this makes sense I am a little off tonight. But feeling much better as I share my day and thoughts, fears, anxieties and how I get through these feelings/emotions without drinking – One Day At A Time. I can not and will not make that an escape route for me ever again. Not an option any more. Thank you AA and God.
NIGHT PRAYER
God forgive me where I have been resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid today. Help me to not keep anything to myself but to discuss it all openly with another person – show me where I owe an apology and help me make it. Help me to be kind and loving to all people. Use me in the mainstream of life God. Remove worry, remorse or morbid (sick) reflections that I may be of usefulness to others. AMEN
(p. 86 BB)

Patience and Tolerance

Been another great day…however, my patience and tolerance has worn thin.  I am on the Board of Directors in our mobile home park. In fact I have the privilege of being the Home Owners Association President. The last few days I have been with my family who are visiting me here in Central Florida and we have been having a ball!!  I continue to be “bothered” by people from my park and board.annoyingpeople  I give them a 110% when I am around and have to carry out my duties as a board member. So I am thinking, is this a lesson of patience and tolerance?

More than likely it is…there is this one person who no matter what I do or say always, always has something negative to say. Worse part is, it is not to me, it to everyone else around me. An example, I hold a meeting for whatever reason and as we are leaving the person says, “nice job, good meeting…” The I find out later they go out with their friends and it gets back to me that they were told by this person, “wow, what a lousy meeting we had, etc”  This is very two-faced and just wrong. But as I write this and get it out of my system I begin to feel 100% better.  It is to teach me more patience and tolerance.  Thank goodness I was taught and learn how to practice these qualities. Not that I am perfect but at least I stand a chance today.  I first think, how important is all this anyway.  I have such a full life and if these folks need to complain and chatter behind each others backs, let them.  As Elsa say, “Let it go, let it go” and to further add to it, “Let it go and Let God”

Being patient or tolerant is a practice. Daily we have the opportunity to practice either or both of these qualities. Some days we are better at it than others depending on what else is happening in our personal lives. Tolerance arises from a state of mental relaxation
that allows us to remain calm, which is very hard in certain circumstances, like the ones mentioned above. Thank God and AA once again for getting me back to where I need to be!!
Love and tolerance of others is our code. Big Book Into Action, p.84

Feeling better, ready to move on…..

“Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for
the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his
spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could
not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not
work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely
die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition,
Bill’s Story, pg. 14~

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