Well that frustrating day I was going to write about today passed…imagine that! I said my prayers last night. Not only did I pray I took an honest inventory of myself (10th Step) and found out why I had been feeling the way I had been feeling…A few things popped into my head. First I was tired, I had been hanging out with my friends from New York at Disney World having a wonderful time. But I was tired and every little thing that was happening around was starting to ‘bother’ me. That is not supposed to happen at the ‘Most Happiest Place On Earth.” I am here to tell you, it does. Another thing was that finances were improving but, dang, not fast enough to suit me…well, again this is something as long as I am doing what I need to be doing will improve with time, not necessarily my time. And, there were a couple other little character defects I had finally recognized. So I did what I was taught to do…pray that the resentments be removed, and prayed to have those character defects removed, knowing full well that they will certainly rear their ugly heads again. I also prayed to have more patience. But I did what I was taught to do and this morning I woke up feeling much better.
Another thing that has been festering in the back of my mind is that in a week or so the snowbirds and northerners will be returning to our park. I am a Board of Director for our Homeowners Association, the President in fact. I can not wait until February (I don’t like thinking like that, it is kind of wishing my life away), but, that is when my two-year term is up. I got involved because I thought it would be a great way of helping, being useful, getting out of myself. It is but it is also a thankless task. People have been mean and less than grateful for my time and effort. Some have actually made my life miserable (I know, misery is optional).
I have used the serenity prayer and just about every other prayer I could possibly think of in the past twenty months or so. Thank goodness for AA and my Higher Power this year. 2018 has been a BEAR!! But as the saying goes…”This Too Shall Pass…” I have lately trying to live in the day, that way I don’t get so crazy and forget my purpose…Just For Today!!
So I went to my Daily Reflections book and instead of reading todays passages I went and looked for something to help me with “Just For Today” Found it on June 6th page, it reads….
ALL WE DO IS TRY
Can He now take them all — every one?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76
“In doing Step Six it helped me a lot to remember that I am striving for “spiritual progress.” Some of my character defects may be with me for the rest of my life, but most have been toned down or eliminated. All that Step Six asks of me is to become willing to name my defects, claim them as my own, and be willing to discard the ones I can, just for today. As I grow in the program, many of my defects become more objectionable to me than previously and, therefore, I need to repeat Step Six so that I can become happier with myself and maintain my serenity.”
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
And so, it occurred to me the struggle was not with the OUTSIDE World it was with me… I had been doing the prayers and meditations and helping people BUT I had forgotten to take my own inventory as I mentioned above…Step 10
Like I say I am working day-to-day on Progress Not Perfection!
Thank God and AA for being able to have a way to take care of my daily life….