Why do I think everyone should live up to my expectations? Why do I feel that just because I treat someone one way , they have to or will treat me the same way?
“You can’t expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid
My expectations have often led me to resentments. “Resentment is the Number One offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have also been spiritually ill. When our spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 64)
I was taught resentments will kill me. Most of my resentments stem from Anger. I was also told that Fear is Anger turned inside out. I am usually expecting something to turn out a certain way and if it doesn’t live up to my expectations I get angry. This means I am afraid or angry because I didn’t get something or it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it too.
I have been trying very hard due to unforeseen circumstances in my life to try to not have any expectations of others and myself. This is very hard for me. I am not a doormat any more but it seems that people tend to “walk all over me.” I try not to let this happen, but some how it does. Then I have the expectation that because I was nice or did something for them – shouldn’t they be nice or do something for me? And, when they don’t I get a resentment going and then I get angry and then and then and then…..here come lots of my defects. So I stop, reflect, and try to sort them out….Why am I feeling like I am? Usually I can figure it out and move on, but sometimes it takes a few days and that is when I really hate who I am becoming. Once I feel that way, I know what is happening and try to remedy the ‘problem’, which is usually ME. Not the others. I take an inventory (my own inventory) and make amends if needed. I typically say the 11th Step prayer followed by the Serenity Prayer
Then I’d like to say POOF all better, but we all know that isn’t the way it works. Its’ all about PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!!!!
God bless you all and have a wonderful weekend!!