Living It

The Spiritual Life is not a theory. We have to live it.
When new in the program, I couldn’t comprehend living the spiritual aspect of the program, but now that I am sober, I can’t comprehend living without it. Spirituality  was what I had been seeking. God, as I understand Him, has given me answers to the whys that kept me drinking for twenty years. By living a spiritual life, by asking God for help, I have learned to love, care for and feel compassion for all my fellow men, and to feel joy in a world where before, I felt only fear.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p 83
None of this is my own words. I am not that smart. Everything I have to say has been said to me, shared with me, through the experience, strength and hope of all the people before me.
When I was new to the program I was so sick I had to be told what to do. My choice was to  do “it” and get well (hopfully having what the well people had) or not. I was spiritually dead. I believed in something but if there was something, why was I such a mess? I didn’t need to be drinking. I had a good, no great life. Was married, had children, had a home, had cars….I had, I had, I had…..however inside of me there was a huge void that could not be filled. What was it? It was spirituality.
I can not live without it today. I had no idea that spirituality was what I had been looking for, never mind would fill that void. God, as I understand him is more of a spiritual awakening. In the beginning for me I would listen to the people and hear them talk about their spirit awakening.  Thought, “what on earth are they talking about.” Come to find out as I grew and got “weller” and did exactly as I was told (figuring that if I did what they told me and it came out wrong, it would be their fault…funny though, things didn’t go wrong) I started to see what happening.
That spiritual awakening was actually what is between you and me. I was taught how to ask for help, accept help and carry on. I ask for help everyday to be useful and to love, care and show compassion everyday (some days are better than others…) for everyone’
The biggest and best part of living a spiritual life today, it frees me from me. I can live in joy and happiness and not be fearful of everything I encounter in a day. Not that I am not afraid, but I know now that I am never alone and not only that, there is hope!

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